김홍식 목사
몇 주 전에 저는 2019년 최고령으로 엘리야 특별 새벽기도회를 개근하셨던 문수복 권사님(93세) 댁에 다녀왔습니다. 권사님은 귀가 잘 들리시지 않아 꽝꽝 문 두드리는 소리를 듣지 못해 때로는 방문하지 못 할 때도 있었지만, 그날은 열어 주셨습니다. 또한, 팬데믹 중에 심장이 좋지 않아서 여섯 번이나 병원 응급실에 다녀오셨다고 하셨습니다. 여전히 숨 쉬는 것이 힘드신 것으로 보이셨습니다. 참 안타까운 마음이었습니다. 안부를 묻고 난 후, 저는 담임목사님의 주일 설교를 요약하여 전해드렸습니다. 말씀을 들으시면서 권사님이 은혜를 받으셔서 “아멘, 아멘” 하셨습니다. 그런데 주기도문으로 예배를 마치자마자 두 눈을 감고 두 손을 들고 “나 같은 죄인 살리신 그 은혜 놀라워 잃었던 생명 찾았고 광명을 얻었네“라는 찬송을 어린아이와 같이 부르시는 모습이 정말로 하나님 은혜에 감사하며 부르시는 것이었습니다. 너무나도 약해진 몸으로, 숨 쉬시는 것조차 힘들어 보이는 권사님이 말씀에 은혜를 받으시니, 자신의 죄를 깨닫고 그 은혜로 인하여 찬송하신다는 것이 저에게 너무나 큰 감동으로 다가왔습니다.
건강한 몸으로 신앙생활 하는 나는 과연, 권사님만큼 뜨거움이 있는가? 목사로 부름을 받아 은혜로 하루하루를 살면서 어린아이와 같이 하나님의 은혜에 매일 감사하는가? 잠시 주님께 회개하는 마음이 들었습니다. 제 마음에도 감사가 뜨겁게 샘 솟듯 올라와 찬송을 따라 부르기 시작했습니다. 그렇게 음정도 박자도 맞지 않는 찬송을 함께 부르면서 하나님이 주시는 은혜에 감사하며 눈물을 한 바가지 흘리고 나왔습니다. 그리고 예수님이 나를 위해 십자가 지신 사랑의 능력을 다시 경험하고, 눈물이 회복되는 시간이었습니다. 몸이 약해도, 심장이 좋지 않아도, 예수님의 은혜를 아는 자는 다른 사람에게 영향을 줄 수 있습니다. 은혜를 회복하는 것이 제일 중요합니다. 같이 고백합시다. ‘나의 나 된 것은 하나님의 은혜로다. “내 아들아 그러므로 너는 그리스도 예수 안에 있는 은혜 가운데서 강
하고”(딤후 2:1)
Strength in Midst of Grace
Rev. Hong Sik Kim
Since the pandemic, most of home visits I made have been to Acacia Senior Apartments. Every week, our senior pastor would ask me to deliver Sunday bulletins and care for them. Unless there’s other commitment, I would go there almost every week. What‘s unusual is that I thought I was going there to comfort and encourage seniors, but when I return home, I am strengthened and blessed.
A few weeks ago, I visited deaconess Moon Soo Bok (93 years old) who had a perfect attendance during Elijah Early Morning Prayer. Deaconess still has very good vision and can read the Bible, but she is hard of hearing. There were times I was not able to visit her because she could not hear my hard knocking on her door. On this day she heard my knock, and I was able to visit her. I walked in and asked her first how she was. She said she had heart issues and that she went to emergency room 6 times during the pandemic. I felt very sad. As she was talking, I could see that breathing wasn’t easy for her. After the greeting, I opened the Bible and hymnal, and gave summary of the past Sunday’s sermon. As she listened, she began to be blessed and responded with ‘Amen, amen’. We ended with the Lord’s Prayer. Then she immediately raised her two hands with her eyes closed, and began to sing “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretched like me”. It was truly a praise of thanks for God’s grace, like a child. She was so frail, having difficulty breathing. It touched me greatly as I watched her praise out of grace, being blessed by the Word, and recognizing her sin. Am I as passionate as her in my life of faith, in my healthy body? I have been called to be a pastor, but am I thankful daily like a child for God’s grace, as I live each day? There was a moment
of my repentance.
As I watched her praise, my heart rushed with thanks. I began to praise with her. We were not in tune or in rhythm, but we were thankful for God’s grace. I left after having shed bowlful of tears. It was an experience of empowerment and restoration as I experienced again in my heart the love of Jesus’s cross that He bore for me. I think this is God’s wittiness. Even when body is weak and heart is not well, those that received the grace of Jesus can affect others around them. Restoring grace is most important. Don’t you want to confess with me? It is by God’s grace that I am who I am. 2 Tim 2:1 “You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.”